No Idea

I have no idea... what should I do????? when I planned something that i wanna do in future and suddenly something crash my way. ohhh I'm speechless. That why im not ok.. my head spinning. Dizzy. plus i was a bit tired lately.

Arghhhh nak buat apa nih??? sitting alone. walking alone. im done.  but still have no idea... waiting and waiting... how could it be??

I know it qada and qadar yg dah ditetapkan.. but i wont pasrah! i dont care if it a bout a man or love. neither. this is all about my future.. my responsibility.

kadang aku benci sejarah. sebab sejarah tu la yg menghancurkan. menangis macam mana pun sejarah tetap sejarah..cakap la seribu kali by gone be bygone. Bila terkenang apa yg aku tanggung sekarang semua nya kerana sejarah. tak kira la zahir atau batin.. sama ja...

Im tired of what has happened.

Lantak kau lah.

LANTAK KAU LAH,

LANTAK KAU LAHH

LANTAK KAU LAH.

MAMPOIUHHH PIII

Selamat Hari Lahir En.Zubir 💚💚💚

Selamat hari lahir abah... u re 55 if u still around me...and it has been 11 years u leave me... and i still miss u. I still love u..

Abah... i rindu u... i donno what to do When im give up. When i cry. When i sick. When i blur.

I thanks Allah to give me rezeki yg xpernah putus. I Thanks Allah to give me so much ujian. I thanks Allah cuz He give me a good friends around when i need their shoulder to cry on...I Thanks Allah to give me a strength without u..  I thanks Allah to keep u for me. And I believe He always protected me wherever i am without u... and I thanks Allah kerana Dia campak rasa kasih sayang dr org sekeliling untuk saya walau tak setanding dengan kasih sayang seorg abah kandung.

Abah...intan hidup bukan nk mengejar kemewahan semata-mata seperti yg org lain nampak dr luaran intan.. tak pernah pun mintak belikan barang branded dr sesiapa. Intan cuma hidup apa yg ada didepan mata... apa yg Allah bagi tu dah lebih dr cukup. Tak pernah pun ckp kat org betapa susah nya hidup harian intan. Tak perlu pun intan nk tunjuk apa yg intan bagi. Semua tu rahsia hidup intan. cuz I will let Allah judge me. Cuz i know semasa hidup abah tak pernah pun minta balasan atas setiap pertolongan. Tak pernah pun tunjuk dekat org atas setiap pertolongan... but i know u and Here I follow u.. walaupun dah 11 tahun abah dah tak berkhidmat sbg polis. Here I still let them know that my late abah is a police man. Cuz im so proud of u.

Abah... Im Sorry for my sin. Im sorry for my past.. I know i hurt u..i knew I hurt them but its really hit me. I cry when I think of it. If today is my last day. The first thing i wanna meet is U... cuz im tired to let them judge my mistake. I know syurga is not deserve for me yet but I hope He will never leave me alone. whatever i do . I do it for Him n for u abah...

Your kenangan is always in my mind. The best ever kenangan yg org lain xde tp intan ade.. Intan balik tadika naik moto polis. Panjat kat tong tangki minyak depan.. haaa korang hado??  Hahahaha dulu masa sekolah u bought me basikal but they dont. Now i derserve it abah...I have nothing... I redha.. huhu


Sometime I dont believe that I bring along your name Everywhere and I wrote at any form.. the fact is there is no jasad yg tinggal hanya nama di batu nisan. And I know bila tiba masa nama saya juga akan tertera di batu nisan sebagai tanda kenangan.

I love u abah. Your only daughter love u so much. Selamat hari lahir... selalu org baca doa selamat untuk hari lahir. Tapi saya baca Alfatihah untuk hari lahir abah yg ke 55. 56 57 and forever.

I WONT GIVE UP

when u look into the mirror and see NO CHANGE, and still keep faith, knowing in time u will get there if u stay focused and on track, That's the different between those who succeed and those who fail.

Life is a journey to find yourelf

I got this title from 1 of  my friends. I pinjam ayat u Mr.Nasri. hihi coz I'm so touch with this statement.

Yup life is a journey to find myself. aku memang tengah emo gile sekarang nih.. kenape??

hmm tak rase nak share dgn sesape pun lagi.. kalo aku nak share nnti pndi2 la aku cari ayat..

yg penting aku muak dgn org yg dok berdoa dekat fesbuk. lepaskan tempias marah kat fesbuk. nak emo kat fesbuk. Emo kat blog xpe.. HAHAHA ape beza die? ade beza die yg org lain xnampak...

senang cite aku dah deactive semua akaun aku... padan muka. padan muka aku jugak stop sosial network. Im so tired. 

yg penting aku rindu abah 2.0.

ni lah kesan bila dr kecik terlalu dimanja kan.. bila hilang terkapai2. lost habis. sadis.

tgok la ptg nih kalo aku rajin nk menaip.. kalo tak rajin mmg xde update pape la..

WHY OH WHY~

talk less.

Im bored. yes infrequently like this.

Im a happy go lucky person. Laugh out loud. Cheers people around. Make a fool joke to myself and others but lately i can't feel it. different.

such a ridiculous. that not me. sometime i wanna cry for something i don't know. 

sometime i get mad for a very simple thing.

wehh am I getting CRAZYYY???

ohhmaiiiii.... no no no. 

or im getting OLD???

oh NOOO! 

im tired. but i'm getting thinner. HAHAHA

That why I love myself. huahuahuahua

Yawn.

A Mature relationship

For me, for a being a good relationship with your partner is understanding. confidence and trust to each other.

Tolerance with your partner is not good enough. for your diversity in your relationship to become a true love. we must embrace it. we must understand it. That means understanding each other better.That means knowing more about each other's feeling better. 

It means putting yourself in other person's shoes before you say something. this is not about sympathy . About being able to fight for your right. About to pretend your own decision. 

what is love? 

love.. for me love is "sayang". "Sayang" doesnt mean that u are saying "cinta" to your partner. it may become love as a friend. put your hand to your heart. Ask yourself did u love your boyfriend/girlfriend before being a husband/ wife. Did u feel the butterfly in your stomach?. 

Without "cinta" its hard for you to understand and feel each other. 

and I will tell you sayang. my future husband. This word I havent says to my past. This feeling I havent give to someoone else. Neither. I'll keep for u when u are ready to "akad" my name. I will give to u with full of my heart. Coz when Allah SWT says that u are my mate, I'm very sure that He will give us the right ways to jannah. Amin.

p/s : macam cekodok muka lelaki bila merajuk..   huuuuu =.='